For those of you who live in a state with medical marijuana, which should be all of you, Points Envy has uncovered a new method for manufacturing points that, to state it bluntly, puts everything Frequent Miler has ever written to shame. 2013 ICECDIAC’s here we come!
The plan is almost too easy:
1) Obtain a prescription for medical marijuana*
2) Find a dispensary that accepts credit cards
3) Purchase large quantities of medical marijuana using any credit card, gift card, or prepaid card
4) Sell the medical marijuana for cash
20) Use the cash to pay off your credit card bill
For those of you who need a little hand-holding, we explain each of the steps in further detail below.
Step 1: Obtain a Medical Marijuana Prescription
Finding a marijuana-prescribing doctor is almost as easy as finding a credit card affiliate link on a points blog. Simply pick up any free local paper and look through the ads near the back to find a doctor near you. Schedule an appointment, show up, and explain to the doctor that you have anxiety due to your low points balances and inability to find Vanilla Reload cards. Or you can mention back pain, nausea, idiocy, or just about any other ailment. Remember, if it’s an ailment, marijuana can cure it. Your cost for this prescription will likely be around $40, provided that you shop around and look for subtle keywords like, “GET YOUR CARD NOW – WE’LL BEAT ANY PRICE!”
Typical marijuana doctor advertisement
Editor’s note: We wrote this post several days ago but, due to our recent bender, were physically unable to post it until now.
First off, we would like to welcome George, aka @FlyerTalkerinA2, to the blogging game. We predict that he will provide excellent summaries of all the important points and miles blogging activity, including our summaries, which will inevitably refer to his summaries, which will hopefully refer back to our summaries, and so on and so forth; like two brilliant mirrors reflecting each another ad infinitum.
Frequent Miler will write some revelatory post that changes everything we thought we knew about the game. It may or may not involve gift cards.
Lucky will either post a mouthwatering review of a new first class product or more fascinating notes about his recent move to Seattle.
The Points Guy will once again throw it in your faces how Chase is paying him to travel around the world and live the life that Points Envy also lives.
Points Envy will make a game-changing confession.
Everyone else will either complain about Vanilla Reloads no longer being sold at Office Depot or brag about attending the StarMegaDo4.
As you are all no doubt aware, it has been a turbulent few days in the points and miles community. First we were hit with the exciting news that the Ink Bold and Ink Plus spending requirements had dropped from $10,000 to $5,000. Shortly thereafter the community suffered a devastating blow, as it became apparent that Office Depots around the country had received a memo directing store managers to pull all Vanilla Reloads from the shelves. As we always say: the points lords giveth and the points lords taketh away.
Throughout these tough times, we at Points Envy have been sitting on the sidelines, mulling the happenings and drinking champagne in observance of the traditional week-long holiday leading up to the Veterans Day holiday. While we were busy playing Veterans Day-themed drinking games, others were playing the blame game, pointing fingers at those supposedly responsible for killing the Office Depot Vanilla deal.
After switching from champagne to scotch and doing some further soul-searching, we came to realize there is something we must get off our chests: we are alcoholics. But, more importantly, we must also publicly confess to everyone in the points world that we are responsible for Office Depot pulling the Vanilla Reloads.
Our assistants, on their last successful Ink Bold Vanilla run.
We feel terrible, and will continue to feel terrible until we restock our liquor cabinet, but we’d like to explain what happened. When we woke from our bender this morning, we found a document open on our computer titled “OfficeDepot_LOL.docx.” It was a beautifully-worded memo to all Office Depot store managers, directing them to immediately pull all Vanilla Reload cards due to rampant cases of fraud. It seems that this document, minus the numerous profanity-laced paragraphs about “preserving first class availability,” became the now-notorious Vanilla Reloads memo sent to Office Depot store managers last week.
Apparently, we just thought it would be funny to ruin the game for everyone and indulge in what the Chinese refer to as “Schadenfreude.” Judging by the tumultuous response in the points world over the past few days, we were absolutely right. So, to all the pros out there swimming in points who have one less reason to worry about finding first class award space, you are welcome. And to the amateurs, you are also welcome for the valuable lesson we have taught you.