Tornado Assassination Fails, Still Yields Millions of Points

Well, you got us. We tried a devious scheme and it almost worked, but those damn Windy City engineers and architects seem to have designed Chicago buildings well enough to keep our fellow points bloggers safe.

You see, we’re tired of being nationally and internationally famous for being the third-and-a-half-biggest travel blog in the world. We would like to move up to at least number two or, G-d willing, the top spot. And so when we heard the world’s top travel bloggers would all be gathered in Chicago for the big seminar, we saw our chance to make things right.

We are not old school gangsters, just classy gentleman of leisure. But we definitely wanted to kill the competition. So we thought back to an article about some guys in Abu Dhabi who learned how to control the weather. They were using their machinery to make rain in the desert for food or something, but we figured we could use it for something far more noble: a murderous tornado. But sadly, our mission failed, and the bloggers who actually have insight and real knowledge of the travel industry lived to write another day.

It was such a simple plan.

On the whole, however, the undertaking was not a total loss. We paid roughly $350 million for the machinery and setup, with $35,000 on our Sapphire Preferred and the remainder on our Platinum card (thanks for no limit Amex!), so at least we earned over 350 million points (350,037,450 after the 7% dividend on the Ultimate Rewards points). And luckily we’ve already found a buyer for the tornado machinery in executive producer and all-around nice guy Steven Spielberg, who begins shooting Twister 2: More Twisters soon. You read that right folks, Bill Paxton is not dead.

But if you know anything about the editors here at Points Envy it is that we never give up. Maybe next time, the elite bloggers of the points world won’t be so lucky….


Points Envy Erroneously Omitted From Technorati Travel Blog Rankings

In an unfortunate error, the internet’s leading blog search engine and directory mistakenly omitted one of the world’s leading travel blogs from its most recent rankings. Although statistics, common sense and our straightforward catch phrase all clearly indicate that Points Envy is the third and a half biggest travel blog in the world, the current Technorati chart shows no mention of us in the top ten.

We admit that our massive egos were almost affected by this omission, but the real reason we decided to write this post is simple: justice. Yes, justice. Or wait, we mean fairness. Yeah, fairness. It is only fair that our blog be given its proper place in the rankings given our hard work and dedication.

Over the past couple of months, we have spent four or maybe even five hours toiling over credit card bonus details and award booking rules to bring you that hit of information needed to satisfy your frequent flyer cravings. Moreover, we regularly fly first class and stay in elite suites just to report on those experiences for our readers. Sure, The Points Guy and View From the Wing do that too, and work substantially harder, but we don’t think they should be that much higher than us in the rankings. For your benefit, we have provided an illustration of what a fair version of the rankings would look like:

Technorati rankings (with fairness taken into account).

Of course, we cannot hope to stay near the top forever (see Julius Caesar, The Notorious B.I.G., and the United States), and we therefore believe it is critical to celebrate our current success while it still tastes so sweet. Accordingly, we are throwing a huge party in Dublin next weekend and are inviting all of our female readers! More details are forthcoming, but get ready to bring your own (and our) Guinness!