american eagle

AMR Looks to Mega Millions for Help

AMR Corporation, the parent company of American Airlines and American Eagle Airlines, has been searching for a way out of bankruptcy since it filed for Chapter 11 in November 2011. With the current Mega Millions jackpot at $640 million and counting, AMR thinks it has a way to somewhat close the $4 billion deficit it currently faces.

“We are investing $180 million in Mega Millions tickets, which according to our economists will give us better-than-average odds,” said VP of Budgeting Chad Wilson. We suggested to Wilson that he read this CNN article, which states 1 in 175.7 million as the odds of winning and provides a dose of reality for hopeful gamblers. Says Wilson, “we read the article, we know the odds, that’s why we’re playing. As long as we buy at least 175.7 million tickets, we are guaranteed to win. Right?”

Guaranteed success

When asked how they would use the money if they win, an anonymous senior executive within AMR explained that they would “pay off some PR and legal fees from [their] fight with the money-wasting labor unions.” If they don’t win, they will just write the tickets off as losses and proceed with bankruptcy.


AE, AA and AE Partner Up Amid Confusion

American Eagle Outfitters is entering a new partnership with American Eagle Airlines (and thus with American Airlines) after the companies both reported high rates of customers mistaking one brand for the other. “After the ten-thousandth person called our customer service line to complain about service on an American Eagle flight, we figured we might as well work with this,” said American Eagle Outfitters Vice President Joe Sanchez. “People need to fly and they need stylish, high-quality clothing at a fair price, so we think it’s going to be great.”

As a result of the union, AAdvantage Executive Platinum members will be guaranteed fitting rooms at the clothing store and will have a designated priority check out lane. AAdvantage Platinum and Gold members are only entitled to the fitting room benefit. In exchange, the clothing store’s employees will be exempt from the new window shade charges on all American and American Eagle flights, and American Eagle will cover the exteriors of several of its planes completely with American Eagle Outfitters advertising. A partnership between the AEREWARD$ and AAdvantage programs is also in the works, though its exact terms are still being ironed out.

Can you tell the difference?

American Eagle Airlines spokesman Ron Butts seemed ambivalent about the entire venture. “We don’t really like people confusing us with the clothing store, but they already do so maybe working together makes sense.” Butts continued, “I’ve always been a Banana Republic man myself, but we have been losing the frat boy demographic in recent years, so I suppose this could be positive for us on that front.”

In related news, Virgin America is expected to enter a cross-promotional agreement with GameStop later this summer.